DEEP WATER

''BE NOT AFRAID OF GROWING SLOWLY
BE AFRAID OF STANDING STILL''.

Deep Water, Deep will Power

William Douglas(1898-1980)

William Douglas (1898-1980) was born in Maine, Minnesota. after graduating with bachelors of Arts in English and economics, he spend two years teaching in high school in Yakima. The following excerpt is taken from Of Men and Mountains by William O Douglas.

Decided to learn swim:

YAKIMA RIVER

Douglas decided to swim when he was eleven years old. there was a pool at the Y.M.C.A  in Yakima that offered exactly the opportunity. The Yakima river was treacherous. His mother continuously warned against it, and kept fresh in his mind the details of each drowning in the river. But the Y.M.C.A. pool was safe. It was two or three feet deep at the shallow end; and it was nine feet deep at the other,the drop was gradual. He hated to walk  naked into it and show his skinny legs.But he subdued his pride and did it.

Fear of Water

From the beginning, however, he had an aversion to the water when he was in it. this started when he was three or four years old and his father took him to the beach in California.Douglas and his father stood together in the surf. He hung on to his father , yet the waves knocked him down and swept over him. Douglas was buried in water. His breath was gone. he was frightened. father laughed but there was terror in his heart at the overpowering force of the waves.

Y.M.C.A. Swimming Pool

Douglas introduction to the Y.M.C.A. Swimming Pool revived unpleasant memories and stirred childish fears. But a little while i gathered confidence. I paddled with my new water wings, watching the other boys and trying to learn by aping them. I did this two or three times on different days and was just beginning  to feel at ease in the water when the misadventure happened.

He went to the pool when no one else was there. The place was quiet. The water was still, and the tiled bottom was as white and clean as a bathtub. He was timid about going in alone, so he sat on the side of the pool to wait for others.

Turning Point of His Life 

He had not been there long when there came a big bruiser of a boy, probably eighteen years old. He had thick hair on his chest. He was a beautiful physical specimen, with legs and arms that showed rippling muscle. He yelled, “Hi, Skinny! How’d you like to be ducked?”

With that he picked Douglas up and tossed him into the deep end. Douglas  landed in a sitting position, swallowed water , and went at once to the bottom. He was frightened, but not yet frightened out of his wits. On the way down he planned:  when my feet hit the bottom, I would make a big jump, come to the surface, lie flat on it, and paddle to the edge of the pool.

Battling with Death

It seemed a long way down. Those nine feet were more like ninety, and before he touched bottom his lungs were ready to burst. But when Douglas feet hit bottom he summoned all his strength and made what he thought was a great spring upwards. Douglas imagined he would bob to the surface like a cork. Instead, he came up slowly.  Douglas opened his eyes and saw nothing but water- water that had a dirty yellow tinge to it. He grew panicky. He reached up as if to grab a rope and his hands clutched only at water. Douglas was suffocating. He tried to yell but no sound came out. Then his eyes and nose came out of the water- but not my mouth.

Helpless against water's overpowering force 

Douglas flailed at the surface of the water, swallowed and choked. He tried to bring his legs up, but they hung as dead weights, paralyses and rigid. A great force was pulling him under. He screamed, but only the water heard me. He had started on the long journey back to the bottom of the pool.

Douglas struck at the water as he went down, expending  his strength as one in a nightmare fights as irresistible force. He had lost all his breath. His lungs ached, his head throbbed. He was getting dizzy. But he remembered the strategy- I would spring from the bottom of the pool and come like a cork to the surface. I would lie flat on the water, strike out with my arms, and thrash with my legs. Then I would get to the edge of the pool and be safe.

He went down, down, endlessly. He opened my eyes. Nothing but water with a yellow glow- dark water that one could not see through.

unconscious

And then sheer, stark terror seized him, terror that knows no understanding, terror that knows no control, terror that no one can understand who has not experienced it . Douglas was shrieking under water. He was paralysed under water- stiff, rigid with fear. Even the screams in his throat were frozen. Only his heart, and the pounding in his head,’ said that he was still alive.

And then in the midst of the terror came a touch of reason. He must remember to jump when  he hit the bottom. At last Douglas  felt the tiles under him. His  toes reached out as if to grab them. Douglas jumped with everything he had.

But the jump made no difference. The water was still around him, He looked for ropes, ladders, water wings. Nothing but water. A mass of yellow water held him. Stark terror took an even deeper hold on him, like a great charge of electricity. He shook and trembled with fright. His arms wouldn’t move. Douglas legs wouldn’t move. He tried to call for help, to call for mother. Nothing happened.

And then, strangely, there was light. Douglas was coming out of the awful yellow water. At least his eyes and nose was almost out too.

Then Douglas  started down a third time. He sucked for air and got water. The yellowish light was going out.

Then all effort ceased. he relaxed. Even his legs felt limp; and a blackness swept over his brain. It wiped out terror. There was no more panic. It was quiet and peaceful. Nothing to be afraid of. This is nice …to be drowsy… to go to sleep… no need to jump… too tired to jump… it’s nice to be carried gently… to float along in space… tender arms around me… tender arms like Mother’s… now he must go to sleep…

He  crossed to oblivion, and the curtain of life fell.

He was saved:

The next Douglas remember he was lying on his stomach beside the pool, vomiting . The chap that threw me in was saying, “But I was only fooling.” Someone said, “The kid nearly died. Be all right now. Let’s carry him to the locker room.”

Several hours later, Douglas walked home. He was weak and trembling. He shook and cried when he lay on my bed. Douglas couldn’t eat that night. For days a haunting fear was in his heart. The slightest exertion upset him, making him wobbly in the knees and sick to his stomach.

Douglas  never went back to the pool. He feared water. He avoided it whenever he could.

A few years later when he came to know  that water of the cascades,he wanted to get into them. And whenever I did- whether I was wading the Tieton or Bumping River or Bathing in Warm Lake of the Goat Rocks- The terror that has seized him in the pool would come back. it would take possession of him completely. His legs would become paralysed.Icy horror would grab his heart.

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